Risqué Sex Fantasies 101: How to Explore Yours Safely 

Whether you’re looking to nip a sexual rut in the bud or simply in the mood to try something new, it only makes sense that you’d turn to your pet fantasies for inspiration when it’s time to spice things up. We fantasize about the things we do for a reason. They’re as hot and exciting as they are because they’re also often about pushing boundaries, but many popular sex fantasies can be pretty risqué as well for the same reason.

However, risqué doesn’t necessarily have to mean risky. A little foreknowledge and preparation can go a long way toward helping you explore your sexier side as safely as possible without sacrificing the excitement you’re after in the first place. Let’s go over some popular options for kicking thing up a notch, as well as discuss some tips for keeping the actual risk factor as low as possible. 


Having a Threesome


Although many experts consider activities like group sex and partner swapping to be normal, healthy human sexual behavior, our social norms say otherwise. We’re not “supposed to” want to have sex with anyone other than our partners, let alone actually go out of our way to make it happen. Threesomes can’t help but sound like fun though, so it’s understandable if you’re determined to make one happen for yourself at some point.


Risk: If you’re in an existing relationship, there’s a good chance having a threesome sex experience could cause jealousy, touch on hidden discomforts, and damage your connection to one another if everyone involved isn’t on the same page. 


Solution: Make sure all parties involved truly want the threesome to happen and are ready for the actual experience. Also make sure you set thorough ground rules everyone is comfortable with before you officially decide to go ahead with it. And as always, when having sex with someone you don’t know, protect yourself by having safe sex.




Dirty talk isn’t just a sexy way to turn up the heat when you’re actually going at it. Thanks to the magic of modern technology, it can also be a great way to stoke the fires for later, give your self-esteem a boost, and jazz up an otherwise lackluster day at the office. However, sexting doesn’t come without its own share of emotional and practical risks.


Risk: There’s always the chance a smoking hot text or X-rated selfie could be used against you either purposefully or accidentally. All it would take is for the recipient to forward it without meaning to.


Solution: Carefully consider what could happen to your content before you send it. Minimize risk by sexting only with people you trust (like your partner) and steering clear altogether of behavior that would haunt you if the wrong people ever found out. 


Online Hookups


There’s nothing wrong with loving the freedom that comes with living the single life, up to and including the occasional one-night stand or casual fling. Plus, the Internet makes it easier than ever to meet, mingle, and hook up with people outside of your usual social circle when you’re in the mood for something different. People have even been known to have casual hookups blossom into lasting friendships or long-term relationships. 


Risk: It’s definitely not unheard of for a Tinder date or Craigslist hookup to go horribly awry. You don’t want your night to be memorable for all the wrong reasons.


Solution: If you’re meeting up with someone completely new, meet in public for the sake of safety. Also, make sure you tell a roommate, friend, or other trusted person where you’re going to be and who you’re meeting up with just in case. 


Shower Sex


Having sex in the shower is a wonderful way to spice up your sex married life without stepping too far outside your comfort zone right away. Not only is it an easy change of scenery most people are comfortable with, but it’s a terrific way to make getting ready to start the day more fun for both of you. 


Risk: Although deciding to hit the showers the next time you’re hot and ready doesn’t come attached to much emotional risk, it’s not necessarily the safest place to have sex. It’s all too easy to slip and fall or pull a muscle if you’re not used to doing such things in small spaces.


Solution: Invest in some non-slip appliques for the floor of your shower to minimize the risk of taking a spill Additional options like grab bars and anchored foot holds can be safe sources of leverage as well.


Homemade Porn


If you love porn and have an inner exhibitionist, the chances are pretty good that you’ve at least considered making your own sex tape. What better way to push your boundaries, indulge your inner sex pot, and create something red hot to look back on later? What’s more, making your own porn is something incredibly sexy to do either on your own or with a partner.


Risk: Like sexts or dirty pictures, there’s always the possibility that a sex tape could fall into the wrong hands and wind up forwarded to people you absolutely don’t want seeing it. 


Solution: As with hooking up or sexting, make sure you trust the person with whom you’re making the sex tape (or make sure you have the only copy). Be just as careful with who (if anyone) you decide to show it to. Definitely resist the urge to put it online.


Public Sex


Saying public sex is exciting is really quite the understatement. Not only does it open the door to spontaneity and creativity, but the very real risk of getting caught is nothing if not a rush. Plus, there’s just something about being so into your partner that waiting until you get home simply isn’t an option. 


Risk: Getting caught isn’t just embarrassing and potentially awkward. If you get caught under the wrong circumstances, you could wind up in legal trouble. You could get arrested, fined, or – even worse – wind up with a permanent record as a sex offender.


Solution: Consider choosing a location where it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll actually wind up getting caught. Think your backyard, your outdoor hot tub, or any other open location on your own property! Waiting until it’s dark or picking a day when you know your neighbors won’t be home is pretty smart thinking as well.


At the end of the day, spicing up your sex life from time to time is a good thing. So is taking the occasional calculated risk, but taking your emotional, physical, and legal safety into consideration is important as well. The key to keeping things safe and exciting is to always be prepared, informed, and protected.