How to Make the Most of Your Sex Toy Collection: Expert Tips, Tricks, and Pointers for the Serious Pleasure Lover

There’s definitely no shortage of resources out there when it comes to having the best, most pleasurable sex toy experiences possible. It’s hard to beat bona fide advice from professional sex therapists and industry experts though. Sex therapists know what it takes to get the absolute most out of your favorite toys, either on your own or with your partner. They’ve not only studied the topic extensively, but they make their livings helping people just like you have better, more satisfying sex to boot. 

Whether you’re currently in the market for your first sex toy or have been using them religiously for many years, there’s no such thing as too much knowledge. The more you know, the better your chances of having the intense, incredible sex you deserve! The following are just a few pointers to keep in mind. Each has the official seal of approval of sex therapists and love experts everywhere.

Clitoral Stimulation That Delivers

Most women know that they need direct clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm consistently. However, quite a few also underestimate the amount of stimulation they really need when shopping for vibrators and other toys. Don’t assume that what’s always worked for you always will either. Age, changes in your health, and other factors can all alter the amount of intensity you’ll need to shoot for, so it pays to keep experimenting with different options. 

When in doubt, err on the side of more stimulation, not less. If you’re not sure what to pick, you really can’t go wrong with a high-powered wand-style massager. Not only are they ultra-powerful and versatile, but most designs do excellent double duty as actual muscle massagers. Plus, they’re powerful enough to activate the deeper, hidden portions of the clitoris in addition to the cute little external button we’re all so familiar with. Also, since it’s not overtly obvious that wand massagers are sex toys, they’re great choices for people that value discretion.

Don’t Overthink It 

When couples new to using toys together first get started, they tend to assume their choices need to be complicated or elaborate to pack a punch and that’s simply not true. Spicing things up doesn’t have to mean jumping feet first into the deep end of the pool with hardcore BDSM or top-shelf toys that cost an arm and a leg. It can be as simple as adding a silky, sexy eye mask to your play at first and playing things by ear from there.

Taking sight out of the equation adds the element of surprise to the mix. When a partner can’t necessarily see what’s coming, they feel sensations all the more intensely. Blindfolds can help add that “naughty” feeling to your sex play without feeling like too much right off the bat as well and they’re an ideal first step to take if you’re interested in being more adventurous over the long haul. When you’re ready, try adding light restraint or playing with temperature via ice cubes, warm massage oil, and more. 

Do Your Bondage Homework

Like sight play, light bondage is often among the first options a couple might explore if they’re looking to add some oomph to their sex life. However, it’s important not to just jump right in if you’re serious about having a mutually satisfying experience. Factors you’ll absolutely want to consider first include but are not limited to:

    • Your reasons for experimenting with kink in the first place.
    • The experience level of both partners when it comes to bondage.
    • The importance of consent, safety, and communication in bondage play.
    • Personal boundaries and hard limits for both partners. 

Consider starting your journey with some reading on the subject. Follow up with plenty of frank, open conversation about what each of you expects and wants out of the experience. Don’t forget to pick a safe word!

Do Your Anal Homework

Anal sex and backdoor play are definitely on more people’s radars than they used to be, but a surprising number of people are still really reluctant to try them. It’s not that they aren’t interested in thinking outside the box when it comes to sex play either. They really are afraid it will hurt or that it will make a mess. Some have had negative experiences in the past and are reluctant to try it again despite being really curious. 

As with bondage, it pays to do a little research first. Learn your way around your anatomy back there. It’s the best way to not only avoid pain and discomfort, but to make sure you’re really hitting all the sweet spots. Use plenty of lube. Also understand that anal play doesn’t have to mean full-on anal sex either. Even non-penetrative play or very shallow penetration via a finger or small toy can be extremely pleasurable due to the high concentration of nerve endings in the anal area.  

Raise the Bar in the Position Department

Changing things up in the position department is often among the easiest ways to inject new life into your sex life. However, that can be easier for some people than others. Not everyone is in super flexible or lucky enough to be in the best shape of their life, but that hardly means they’re not entitled to the best, most mutually satisfying sex possible. If that sounds familiar, then you’ll love what a simple wedge pillow can do for your sex life.

Wedge pillows are simple but effective options that deliver sturdy, flexible, reliable support – perfect for putting a little positional creativity back on the table. In many cases, it can be just the edge a couple needs to glean maximum enjoyment from favorite and brand new positions alike. Most wedges even come with removable cases that make cleaning and care a snap.

Toys Are for Everyone 

Haven’t you heard? Sex toys aren’t just for women anymore by any stretch of the imagination. Men may have an easier time reaching orgasm without the assistance of a toy, but that hardly means male sex toys aren’t worth considering. Options like sleeves, male masturbators, penis pumps, and P-spot stimulators can open the door to exciting new sensations and ultra-intense orgasms to the same degree female toys can. 

Like female toys, you can use male toys as part of coupled foreplay just as surely as you can during solo play. Textured masturbation sleeves can be awesome ways to add dimension to a hand job or make up for any issues either partner has with mobility or stamina. Options like vibrating cock rings are terrific ways to introduce vibration into your intercourse routine as well. Just play things by ear and never be afraid to experiment. Anything goes!

At the end of the day, the world of sex toys is wide, wonderful, and deliciously varied. There really is something out there for everyone, even those that may think they’re not “toy people”. Sex toys are great ways to get more in touch with your own body, as well as add nuance to sexy time with your partner. There are no hard and fast rules as to how you can use them to enhance your play either, so let your creativity run wild.

  1. Don’t limit yourself to sex in bed.

Most people figure they’ll take care of the privacy problem by waiting to have sex until they’re in bed at the end of the night. However, nothing reminds you how noisy beds can actually be quite like staying in a room with nothing but a paper-thin wall in between you and your no-nonsense grandparents. If the headboard doesn’t absolutely insist on banging rhythmically against the wall, then you can bet the mattress will squeak like nobody’s business, right?

Thankfully there’s no law that says you have to have sex in bed just because you’re in the bedroom. Try doing it sitting up in the armchair across the room or against the wall instead. Alternatively, you can spread the blankets out on the carpet and enjoy some sweet lovemaking followed by cuddle time there instead. 

  1. Revisit the idea of car sex.

The whole point of going home for the holidays is reminiscing about the past and revisiting old traditions, right? Sure, part of that means going through old photo albums with your siblings or hanging your favorite childhood Christmas ornaments on the tree with your mom. If you’re game though, it could mean getting back in touch with your adventurous (and very creative) teenage years as well.

Cars are bastions of teenage passion for a reason. They’re mobile and they’re relatively private to name just two advantages. All you have to do is seize opportunities as they come to you. Volunteer to pick up takeout for the entire household on an especially busy night and pause for a quick and dirty bang session in the back seat before you head home. Take a detour on the way home from shopping to a secluded area and do what comes naturally. You get the picture.

  1. Make other people’s routines work for you.

If you’ll be staying with your family long, you’ll eventually get a feel for the natural rhythms of the household. Maybe mom and dad are into taking long walks after dinner these days. Perhaps your sister-in-law and her family disappear for an hour right after breakfast to hit the gym without fail. Whatever the case may be, be sure to take advantage of times the house will be empty (or mostly so). It may be easier and more discreet than simply waiting for bedtime.  

Alternatively, you can volunteer to stay home and start dinner or watch the young children of the household while everyone else goes out shopping or to a movie. Once dinner’s in the oven or the kids are down for their naps, you’re free to enjoy your alone time to your heart’s content. Not in the mood to have sex right then? Enjoy some cuddle time or a sweet, intimate talk instead. Any type of quality time spent as a couple is worth enjoying whenever possible.

  1. Slip quietly away whenever you can.

You don’t necessarily have to wait for everyone to leave the house to get in a little extra alone time though. You can just as easily take advantage of those moments that find everyone gathered together and completely preoccupied with a specific activity. Not as interested in Sunday night football or that annual Bridget Jones movie marathon as the rest of your family is? Slip away quietly for some alone time while everyone’s focused on the on-screen action instead.

Parties are also packed with opportunities to duck out for a few moments of alone time. Wait for everyone to arrive and for the festivities to really pick up. Then scurry away together to your bedroom, the attic, or even a dark corner of the back yard for a little pick-me-up. You’ll most certainly have time for a quickie or a nice, neat blow job before anyone notices you’re missing.

  1. Invest in some cleverly discreet sex toys.

Do you and your partner absolutely love playing with toys under normal circumstances? Don’t make the mistake of assuming you’ll have to leave any and all playthings at home just because you’ll be staying with family over the holidays. In fact, holiday travel to see family is the ideal excuse to go shopping for some awesome new items made with discretion in mind.

For instance, there are portable mini vibes out there that look indistinguishable from everyday items like rubber duckies, lipsticks, or thumb drives. Your mother-in-law or grandma won’t even realize she just saw your sex toy if she stumbles across it while changing your bed linens. There are even sex toys designed to look like and be worn as necklaces, bracelets, or rings as well – perfect for making a helpful outing to pick up more milk or eggs for the holiday baking a little more buzzworthy. 

  1. Plan a personal gift exchange.

Yes, when you’re home for the holidays, you’ll probably be sharing most of your big moments with the rest of your family and that’s as it should be. That hardly means you can’t exchange a couple of more intimate gifts in private with your partner though. Consider buying each other two gifts instead of just one – one item to be opened as part of a communal gift exchange and another to exchange as a couple a little later on at bedtime.

If you like, you can decide beforehand that your private gifts should be spicy in nature to add to the fun. Think scented massage oil, new sex toys, racy lingerie, or some vintage erotica to read together before sexy time! Not only does this help facilitate any sexy time you do get to partake in, but it gives you both time to decompress from all the hectic holiday energy as well. 

  1. Always be prepared.

Who knew that old adage you learned in Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts would stick with you the rest of your life, right? Staying sexy and satisfied when you’re bunking with relatives is largely about being ready to seize any opportunity that comes your way, so definitely be prepared. 

Keep a few condoms, wet wipes, travel-sized lubes, or portable sex toys stashed in your purse or glove compartment so you’ve totally got them on hand when you need them at a moment’s notice. You never know when the mood (or an unexpected stroke of luck) might strike! What better way to keep your holiday merry, festive, and bright?