Everything You Need to Know About Using Toys Together for the First Time

A sex toy is the type of thing you think you can take or leave… until you actually spend some time with one. Sex toys like vibrators aren’t just reliable ways to have intensely satisfying orgasms whenever you want them. They’re also amazing ways to really get to know what brings you pleasure. Sex toys can actually introduce you to entirely new sensations as well.  

All things considered, it definitely makes sense that at some point you’d want to see if toys can elevate your partnered sex life to the same extent they have your solo sessions. But what’s the best way to approach the subject with your partner, and how can you make sure your first time using a toy together is everything you want it to be? 


Having the Conversation


Healthy, honest communication is a key component in any relationship, especially when one of you wants to make a change to how you do things. It’s not just the big decisions about your life together that are best started with a heart-to-heart discussion either. It’s the best way to approach switching things up in the bedroom as well, so at some point, the two of you will definitely need to have a chat about toys. 

Make sure your partner understands you’re not looking to bring a toy into the bedroom because they’re lacking as a lover or because you feel something’s missing. Toys are about elevating sex that’s already amazing and taking your connection to the next level, so tell them you’ve been thinking about how hot it would be if they used your vibrator on you (or let you use it on them). Keep the overall tone of the conversation light, pleasant, sexy, and fun. 

Once you’ve successfully found a way to start the conversation, you’ll also want to make sure your partner feels included. Let them express any reservations or other feelings they might have while you listen and respond. Once they’re on board, put your heads together to come up with some toy-related scenarios that sound super sexy to both of you. The key is to help your partner realize this is as much about their enjoyment of your sex life as it is about yours.


Picking the Right Items


It’s perfectly fine to get the ball rolling by experimenting with toys you already own. However, keep in mind that a toy you own was chosen with your needs and preferences in mind. If your partner is comfortable experimenting with what you already have around, that’s great, but don’t underestimate the potential benefits of shopping for something new together instead. 

The wide, wonderful world of sex toys goes well beyond classic vibrators and dildos that look exactly like 10-inch penises. There are toys out there designed to help couples experiment with bondage, nipple stimulation, roleplaying, and more. There are sleek and very effective toys made specifically for couples as well, so it really pays to explore all your options. They include:


  • Couple’s vibrators designed to be worn during intercourse, enhancing the experience for both partners.
  • Vibrating cock rings that not only enhance stimulation for her but keep him good and hard throughout the entire experience.
  • Remote controlled toys that can be used from across a room (or in some cases, across the country). Oh, the possibilities!
  • Versatile massagers that do excellent double duty as actual massage tools. 
  • Bondage kits that are perfect for introducing couples to the joys of light kink play.


Pick a day to sit down together and explore the offerings at a premium adult toy store like LuvToyz. Have a playful discussion together about your options and take turns pointing out items you like the sounds of. Pick out a couple of things to take for a spin, place your order, and start getting excited about the day your shipment arrives!


Communicate, Communicate, Communicate


Thorough, considerate communication isn’t just important when you’re still thinking about using a toy together for the first time. Make sure you keep the feedback loop going strong throughout the process of using a sex toy together for the first time. Don’t worry. You don’t need to use cold, clinical language that breaks the mood. Frame suggestions or requests as dirty talk that makes the whole experience even hotter and encourage your partner to do the same.  

You’ll want to chat a little about how everything went once you’re all done as well. Take turns discussing it and offering feedback. What worked for you? What turned out to be especially hot once you tried it? What sexy ideas do you each have as far as what you’d like to try next? Take what the experience taught you about what you both like in bed and use it to explore additional toy options for the future. You just may found you’ve unlocked the secret to a sex life that stays perpetually hot and exciting!