Better Cowgirl 101: How to Rock His World When You're on Top

If you’re a woman who sleeps with men, the chances are pretty good that you feel one of two ways about being on top. You either love it and take to it naturally like the sex goddess you are or you’re never quite sure what to do once you’re up there. If you’re the latter, don’t worry, because it’s far from a deal breaker! First of all, you’re definitely not alone. Second, dominating the cowgirl position like an absolute boss is totally a skill absolutely anyone can learn (you included).

Here we’ll take a closer look at everything you need to know to go from a dyed-in-the-wool pillow princess to a confident cowgirl that not only rides like the wind but loves doing it. We’ll touch on why cowgirl isn’t just good for him and give you some tips to remember on nights you really want to blow his mind as well.

Why Cowgirl Is Totally Good For You Too

Women that are reluctant to get on top may have any number of reasons for feeling the way that they do. To begin with, even when it’s also completely awesome, sex can be super exhausting, especially when you’re the one on top doing most of the work. Women that almost always stick to missionary aren’t always prepared for that. Plus, a lot of ladies can feel so self-conscious up there that they forget to actually enjoy themselves. That said, there are some really good reasons why women who love being on top feel the way that they do.

  • It’s perhaps the best position for women who really want to orgasm during intercourse, as it has the potential for lots of direct clitoral stimulation. (It’s a pretty stellar position for chasing multiple orgasms as well.) 
  • You’re the one in the driver’s seat, so you’re in complete control as to how deeply he penetrates you, how fast you go, and how you move. 
  • You’ll love the view from up there, because looking down on your man while he’s in total ecstasy is super-hot.

In other words, learning to relish being on top once in a while isn’t just a great way to turn your guy on and give him the ride of his life. Embracing it to the fullest really does make sex better for you too.

The Fine Art of Mastering Cowgirl

If you’re not used to the cowgirl position, it may take some time and effort to truly get into the groove of things. Don’t worry though. A little know-how and preparation is all you need to seriously blow your guy’s mind with your riding prowess.

1. Brush up on your fitness.

The most common complaint among women who don’t really care for cowgirl is that it’s exhausting and with good reason. Being on top is a bit of a workout, so if you’ve been looking for a reason to get your fitness routine back on track, consider this it. You’ll be stronger, have more stamina, and feel more confident once you’re back to hitting the gym on the regular. Cowgirl can make your legs especially tired, so definitely make sure you don’t skip leg day.

2. Do your Kegels.

As with staying fit in general, staying on top of your Kegels makes sex from every position better. Not only do Kegels strengthen your vaginal muscles and make you feel tighter all around but doing a few Kegels while he’s inside you can feel absolutely phenomenal for your partner. When practicing Kegels, you can either do them the old-fashioned way or step things up by adding a set of Ben Wa balls to the mix for good measure.

3. Change up your angles.

Making sure cowgirl is positively orgasmic for you is all about hitting on the right angle, so don’t be afraid to experiment a little. Try it leaning forward toward your partner, as well as riding him upright while leaning back slightly. You can also switch things up a little by going at it reverse-cowgirl style. Not only does riding him backwards stimulate an entirely new set of nerve endings for you, but it gives your guy a great view to enjoy while you’re doing your thing. You can also alternate rotating your hips with actually moving up and down for a little variety.

4. Change up your speeds as well.

Every guy is different when it comes to how fast they like their girl to go when she’s on top of him. Some guys really do want it fast, hard, and rough while others prefer slow and tender. However, a little variety never hurts anyone and is often the key to cowgirl-style sex that really rocks worlds. If he seems to be getting close (or he actually tells you he is), try switching from moving up and down to grinding your hips instead. (You can also simply slow it down a little.) Not only does varying the speed, style, and rhythm of your movement keep things exciting, but it can help keep you from getting as tired.

5. Get your hands involved.

Not sure what to do with your hands while you’re on top of your guy? Try getting them involved in the action a little. If your legs are tired, you can used your hands and arms to support yourself at a slightly different angle while you recover. You can lean back a little and fondle his balls and scrotum. You can totally help yourself along in the orgasm department as well, either using just your hands or incorporating a toy into the mix. Your guy won’t exactly mind the show either!

6. Ask for feedback.

Naturally you want to make sure what you’re doing feels good to your partner. Being intuitive is fine, but it really pays to ask as well. Don’t wait until after you’re all done and then quiz him as to how you did though. Ask him while you’re still going at it. Just do it in a sexy, dirty-talk way that makes what you’re doing even hotter. Ask him if he likes the way you feel and encourage him to give you a little naughty direction of his own. If you play your cards right, he won’t even realize you were actually asking for a little direction.

7. Keep it going.

If you do start to feel your stamina waning, try not to let it show too much, lest you ruin the mood. Definitely keep going, but don’t be afraid to switch things up a little to keep things as comfortable as possible for you. Slow down for a bit or vary your motion style. Lean forward on your forearms or backwards, using your hands for support. You can temporarily change positions altogether if you need to as well.

At the end of the day, the keys to great cowgirl sex really are physical fitness and creativity. Getting in shape is a worthwhile pursuit for any sex positive person, of course. The creativity, on the other hand, is something you and your man can work on together. Remember, anything goes!